Before I became a Mum I had adult conversations daily with ease, felt put together, confident and I didn’t feel like I was going to forget everything. I’m currently finding my new normal as a working Mama and life is so full on right now but I’m trying my best to keep it simple.
I enjoyed the slow pace of maternity leave and I was anxious at the thought of going back to work. It took me a lot longer than I thought it would to feel ready, along with lots of worrying and ‘what ifs’. Leading up to my return I did everything I could to ease the transition for both of us. I tried my best to let go a little and give Adele time to become comfortable in Childcare and in the care of her Granny and Nana. I spent a lot of time simplifying. I simplified our home, what we own, reorganised and got rid of all the clutter. It has reduced the time I spend cleaning, leaving me more time to focus on other things.
I’m slowly getting back into the daily grind that is work and I’m starting to find my calm in the chaos. The last few weeks haven’t always gone to plan, but our world also hasn’t fallen apart like the made up ‘what if’ scenarios in my head. It’s been a constant juggling act and my time management is at an all-time high. At times I can’t help feeling like I’m struggling to stay on top of it all and I feel torn. I’m being stretched in so many different directions and it’s easy to feel guilty. I can’t invest the time I used too and when I think about the moments I’m missing it’s hard not to feel sad.
I now have limited space for everything I want to do, so I’ve had to make sure everything I give my time to adds value to my life and I stay focused on my priorities. I’m trying to be the best mother, wife, friend and leader I can, I’ve had to accept while I can’t always be the best at all of these things at any one time, I can still be a good one.
Trying to nail both work and home life is really tough, let alone having a social life. But when you only have so many minutes and hours in the day, who you choose to surround yourself with matters more than ever. The fact that I can’t devote as much time to Adele and other areas of my life doesn’t necessarily mean that my relationships have to suffer. At the end of the day I am Mama and I always will be, so I’m cherishing the time I do have with her and come home excited with a full heart.
There’s not a lot of downtime and constantly being switched on can be exhausting. Some days I feel so mentally drained and other days like I’m nailing it. I’m enjoying the challenge so far and while some aspects have been harder than I anticipated, overall it’s going better than I expected. I’m slowly finding balance and am trying to make time for all the things I enjoy. It’s definitely full on, but I’m trying my best to have realistic work-life expectations and not be too hard on myself.
I’ve always been passionate about my career and I’m enjoying the satisfaction work brings me. The daily conversations and being challenged by adults has been great for my mind and soul. I’m juggling a busy schedule alongside play-dates and cuddles, while retaining my sense of self and style. Returning to work has reminded me of that and boosted my confidence, some of which got a little lost in motherhood. This transition is far from over so I’m just trying to be patient while I find my groove.
It’s been hard and beautiful, stressful and peaceful. There’s a lot going on right now but I am okay with that and I’m focused on embracing the chaos in a time where life is busy, overwhelming and tiring.