For as long as I can remember I’ve enjoyed writing. But it’s something I’ve never really made time for. I’ve always felt too busy and often the things I let slip, are the things that bring me the most joy. When I write I wind up absorbed by my emotions, completely lost in the moment. It’s good for my soul and I’d say it’s part of my healing process, a way of dealing with things.
Before I had Adele I had no idea how much the experience of becoming a Mum would change me. It’s not like I’ve become a different person but my thought process, priorities and values have changed. The day Adele was born in an instant my world stopped. I suddenly started questioning and reevaluating everything around me. The past year has been one of discovery with a new sense of purpose.
I have lost myself and found myself at the same time. Motherhood has broken me down, but in a beautiful way and I feel more myself than I have ever been. It caused me to question and rethink every aspect of my life. I have had to build myself back up to the person and mother I want to be. This little girl has put everything into perspective and I’ve truly discovered selflessness. Life is so much busier, but I’m calmer and more content.
The other day I hopped out the car & grabbed Adele to head inside and we saw a single dandelion in the park. I immediately put my bag down, we picked it and together blew the seeds into the air. I began to wonder if I would have noticed it previously. Or would I have been too busy, in too much of a rush, and if I did see it, would I have cared? It’s moments like these that remind me of what’s really important. To stop, slow down and be absorbed in life’s tiny moments.
I have consistently written over the past year as an outlet, to express my creativity. As a coping mechanism, and at times because I’ve been so insanely sleep deprived, I feared I would forget things and wanted to hold onto those memories and how I was feeling at that point in time.
So, as my year of maternity leave draws near I want to continue being more intentional with my time. This blog is just one way I can continue to do that. Is it the right time? Probably not, in a few days I’ll be back at work attempting to find my new normal as a working Mum. But is their ever a right time for anything? I’ve been thinking about this for far to long so I’ve made the leap.
As incredibly beautiful as this journey has been, it’s also been really, really challenging. It’s brought out the best in me, but also the worst. There are so many Mum bloggers out there and I understand why. Sometimes you just need to talk openly about what your going through or find someone that has been there, that you can just relate too, brings you a sense of “it will be okay” when your trying to find your feet or “this too shall pass” when you need it. Because it will be okay, it will be so much more than okay.
I hope that somewhere within this blog my words are relatable, can make you smile & know that you’re not alone in the beautiful chaos of motherhood.